The Centre Cannot Hold: My Journey with ME/CFS

The most ironic part of becoming ill with ME/CFS is how it renders me incapable of doing anything I once defined myself by. I used to consider myself an athlete; running half marathons every year, swimming, going to barre and boot camp classes, strength training, and playing recreational sports. I used to pride myself on my work ethic; always the first one in and last one out of the office, consistently exceeding my sales quotas, building a career foundation where I could quickly excel and climb the corporate ladder. I used to consider myself beautiful; I would love to create outfits and get dressed up to go to work, go out, or just run errands. I used to be adventurous; I loved traveling, meeting new people and learning about new cultures and ideas, constantly pushing myself to evolve. I used to consider myself smart; I graduated from a top university Phi Beta Kappa, received multiple departmental awards, enjoyed learning new languages in my free time, was constantly reading,...

Disclaimer: I have never created a blog before nor had I even considered it before becoming ill. However, because so much of my time is now spent indoors, and having been inspired by reading others' experiences with ME/CFS, I have decided to electronically document my own journey. This pilot post is a summary of the onset of my illness to present day. I hope that if you are reading this and are scared and/or looking for answers, you are not alone. ... I first became ill in December of 2016, with a terrible virus. I flew home for holiday break and felt odd the first night I arrived, but assumed it was from the cross country flight. When I awoke the next morning, I could barely get out of bed. I felt hungover, high, and like my body was someone else's. It was the worst illness I have ever had and I proceeded to spend the next 10 days on my mother's couch. After barely moving for over a week, and at my mom's advice, I attempted to run my usual five-mile trail. I comp...